What kind of social comparison might be healthy or unhealthy?
What We Know:
Recently, I was speaking with a group of young professionals about social comparison— the tendency to evaluate our worth based on how we measure up against others. They expressed how, in the age of social media, this has become a daily challenge.
connection is essential for well-being.
And honestly, I agree. When we scroll through feeds filled with career wins and big life milestones, it’s easy to ask yourself: Am I falling behind?
The problem is not that social media exists. It’s that social media creates endless opportunities for social comparison.
Long before smartphones and content creators, sociologist Erving Goffman argued that people often act a certain way in front of others to make a good impression or to appear better in others’ eyes, a sociological theory called dramaturgical analysis. This theory may be amplified on social media (Newton, 2019). People use these platforms as a highlight reel (the best most curated snapshots)for their lives, creating a carefully crafted digital persona. Being exposed to curated digital identities every day is a problem, because it creates unlimited opportunity for upward comparison. Upward comparison occurs when we compare ourselves to people we perceive as doing better than us. Maybe they are more successful, more attractive, or more fulfilled in life. When we engage with their content, our inner critic says, “I don’t have what they have. I guess I’m not good enough.” Research shows that frequent upward comparison is linked to lower self-esteem and increased symptoms of depression (Warrender & Milne, 2020; Le Blanc-Brillon, et al., 2025). In other words, the more we measure our lives against everyone else’s highlight reels, the worse we feel.
One option for combatting social comparison is to delete social media. But in the digital age, stepping away from these platforms is not always realistic. Digital networks are becoming increasingly important for professional communication and career advancement (Ivanova, Gaifullina, & Al Said, 2022; Ustin et al., 2024). These platforms provide the ability for users to engage in network cultivation, brand building, and strategic communication that increases their overall visibility. For many young people, opting out entirely is neither practical nor desirable.
So if deleting social media isn’t the answer, what is?
There’s an alternative to upward comparison, called temporal comparison. This occurs when, rather than comparing yourself to others, you compare your current self to your past self. Such comparisons are associated with greater self-awareness and the desire to better oneself (Gürel, et al., 2020).
Engaging in temporal comparison shifts your brain’s focus from competition with others to personal growth. When upward comparison asks, “Why am I not where they are?”, temporal comparison asks, “How far have I come?”.
This mindset shift just may be the key to improved wellbeing in the digital age. If we apply it to our engagement with social media, we can become more aware of when we are slipping into unhealthy comparison patterns and take steps to redirect our attention. That might look like unfollowing accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy, reduced scrolling on platforms centered around peer accomplishments, or setting daily time limits for social media use. Simultaneously, we can actively practice temporal comparison by reflecting on our own growth over time. Keeping a journal about personal or professional progress, scheduling regular self-check-ins, using time hop or time lapse social media prompts to notice and celebrate growth, and practicing self-compassion can accomplish this. Whichever strategy you choose, the goal is the same: to focus less on where others are in life and more on how far you have come.
TLDR;
When it comes to improving youth mental health, telling them to delete social media is unlikely to work. Instead, we can help them build the skills needed to engage with digital spaces in healthier, more intentional ways.
Learning to focus on personal growth may be one of the most important wellbeing skills young people can develop to safely navigate digital environments that are designed to constantly showcase peer’s achievements.ain.
Call to Action For Youth:
- If you notice yourself getting caught in social comparison, take a step back. Not all scrolling is equal—try engaging with content that inspires creativity, humor, or learning rather than content centered on peer achievement or status.
- When reflecting on progress, try comparing yourself to where you were six months ago or even last year. Personal growth becomes much easier to recognize when the benchmark is your own journey, not someone else’s timeline.ment or status.
Call to Action For Caregivers:
- Reframe: talk about social media as a skill to be learned, not a danger to be feared. Check out this tip-sheet from the American Academy of Pediatrics.
- Discuss the pitfalls of social comparison with your children and model healthy technology use. These are two (2) of the 5Ds (Discuss & Do) from the Surgeon General’s Toolkit on Promoting Healthy Screen Use.
- Explicitly model temporal comparison around your teens and young adults.
This article was authored by Dr. Katherine B. Grill in collaboration with Only7Seconds. Dr. Katherine B. Grill currently serves as a member on the Only7Seconds’ Scientific Advisory Board.
DR. KATHERINE B. GRILL
Dr. Katherine Grill is an internationally recognized neuroscientist and leader in the field of youth mental health, having won over 25 awards for her work in social impact and entrepreneurship.
Through her firm, Katherine Grill Consulting, she partners with government agencies and youth-serving organizations to design initiatives that advance youth mental health in the digital age. The firm supports research, health literacy campaigns, and youth–adult partnership models that elevate young people as leaders in public health.
Dr. Grill is the creator of the Stories, Science & Strategies framework for social media, an evidence-based framework that combines personal storytelling, scientific education, and behavioral activation to reach a global audience. She leverages this framework in her research at Loyola University Chicago and as a member of WHO Fides, a network of healthcare influencers fighting misinformation. She also hosts the New Mexico Department of Health’s YouTube series on teen mental health and leads their statewide Youth-Adult Partnership Initiative.
As the CEO of Neolth, she built an expansive youth ambassador network that was scaled to 35 states and 20 countries, collaborating with hundreds of young people on mobile app co-design. Her work transformed the way youth engage with mental health resources, particularly in helping launch the nascent field of digital interventions to support teens and young adults.
Before her work in technology and media, Dr. Grill managed NIH clinical research studies on adolescent behavioral health, taught university courses in psychology and neuroscience, and worked clinically in psychiatric care.
Dr. Grill has authored 24 publications and given over 250 presentations about digital and youth mental health. She has received numerous accolades, including being named to Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list in 2022, the 2022 Outstanding Young Alumni Award from Canterbury School, the Rising Star Alumni Award in 2023 from American University, and was honored with a display on the Nasdaq Tower in Times Square.
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